They look up to her as the epitome of what kindness should be. She walks by and heals those who are wounded. She kisses their fears away. She’s a ray of sunshine in their stormy clouds. She speaks of poetry, bravery, and hope. She’s perfect for the imperfect.
But when the curtains are closed,
She turns the lights down,
removes her masks,
And reveals another being; one never seen before by those around her.
She regrets it, you see. She was raised to be an encouragement to those who lost it. There’s no room for negativity and imperfection. But what else can she do? People have tried breaking her walls. It’s not possible that she would be flawless.
When a hammer hits a wall, there is and there always will be a dent.
Her kindness has been abused, crumpled, and thrown for the meantime as her stereotype disappears for the night. The places that she walked by are the same places she executed vulnerability. Her hands that were used to heal were the ones that covered her face when they were asking her for something she doesn’t want to give; but she’s kind, she cannot say no, because saying so would turn them down, and she doesn’t want to let anybody down. She doesn’t want to be a disappointment.
There was no one to kiss her fears away that day. She was receiving a different kind of kiss; a mark that would ensure her slavery for a lifetime. Unlike any other, it traveled from her lips, down to her neck, and down than one could even imagine. Her ray of sunshine is being clouded by something that she should have not seen, not in that room, but she couldn’t say no. Her eyes that were full of sunflowers are now full of wilting ones. Crimson red roses start to blossom, but she couldn’t cut it.
‘There’s no room for negativity.’ So she makes room for infidelity.
She couldn’t say no. She knows she loves him. But she’s not sure if he feels the same way. Is it love if he asked her to kneel and get a taste of him? Is it love if he pushed and pulled her to places she should not be in? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she could not put him down. So she looks up, closes her eyes, and breaks the oath of abstinence.
She mended herself, picked up the pieces and tried to become the same sunflower that she was, but she doesn’t know that one can’t water a dead flower. She walked by and tried to heal people, but her brokenness keeps getting in the way. She could not kiss their fears away anymore, she was scared herself. Her mouth that used to speak of poetry, bravery, and hope are now tainted by anxiety, paranoia, and nope, people didn’t see that. They still see her as the same epitome that she is, but no one looks behind the scenes, just like in the movies. She regrets that she’s faking it, but what else can she do? There’s no room for negativity, there’s no room for imperfection.
She doesn’t want to appear broken, because who would want to touch a broken glass?
She has been fooling everyone but one. He was watching the whole time. He walked by the places she executed vulnerability and have seen how her soft hands have been tampered with. He had seen how she kissed those who were not actually afraid and were more like enraged. He looked behind the curtain and saw how much of a mess she had become, but he always loved putting peace to the chaos.
Instead of jumping and falling deep, he reached for the stars. He took what she couldn’t and mended it whole. He took the pieces and kissed her fears away as gentle as he can. He didn’t just become a ray of sunshine; he became the sunshine, radiant enough to boo the stormy clouds. He reminded her of poetry, bravery, and hope. He made her perfect for the imperfect again.
And though she made room for infidelity, He took the cross and loved her till His heart lost its ability;
He loves her that much.